But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. ~Luke 15:20

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Getting Right & Tight with God - Winter Retreat 2007 Post-journal Entry Commentary

SooOo... while trying to reverse entropy's work on my room today, I dug up the booklet to my last winter retreat with my high school fellowship (named Elijah), and what I wrote about it afterwards!

Theme verse: Romans 12:1-2 - this verse has been bombarded on me many times after this retreat.

So, after 5 solitude days of deciphering my handwriting, this is what I wrote:

Coming to WR[winter retreat], I suffered from depression and coming here, I told God that I am leaving everything to Him; I will accept every move He makes. Already, the breaking of my headphones became the first trial of this retreat, and I surprisingly hung on. It was also God's way of reminding me of my promise to Him. *Grace moment*. Reminds me that I have had [cheng en]-ed. The first night was okay; I got frustrated at card games with almost the whole Elijah,[.] I realized I didn't have my shower gel and yeah. The night ended with the Tier-ing [rating] of Elijah girls.


Yes, I know that last part was horrible - even worse is that the tradition carries on to this day >.>.

Looking back now, the headphone thing seems like such a trivial thing. However, it was a BIG thing for me that day - it kept going through my mind, and should serve as a reminder that I should not take ANYONE'S trials lightly, however trivial they seem. Hopefully I have not been.

Now I can see that it was surprising I hung on because it was GOD who hung on to ME. Definitely was a grace moment.

Surprisingly, my mom got a gypsy (I think) to name me, and consequently, I was named xie cheng en (too lazy to type the characters). Cheng en means to have received grace, and I always think about God's grace every time I think about my name. The xie makes me think of how I am thankful - xie xie God! =P

The Tier-ing of the girls was pretty exciting, however inappropriate it was >.>. I'm glad it's almost all removed from Elijah now.

Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord; it was my unconscious, unsaid prayer. I was so touched when God revealed what I had asked Him, and His faithfulness endures forever.

I believe I already believed that God was building me up to accept Him all my life when I wrote this.

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy


Continuing on:
And as quickly as He revealed His will to me, His good, pleasing and perfect will, he showed me the first steps. Its[It's] amazing how I chose not to take a moment to reflect on God, when I can be so easily moved to do something. God knew, and surprised me yet again, that seeing Him is not a resting spot. To see Him is to be forgiven, to have received patience and grace, and to be moved to take action. Suddenly, I have awakened, and God granted me the patience, ability to forgive, and (hopefully) to be able to be graceful[gracious]. He led me to the pains of both brothers and sisters and to feel the pains myself. And to be used by God is in itself a blessing, because He knows my delight is to be an influencing being in someone else's growth. To see them smile, receive joy through getting closer to God, and reaching for an undeniably righteous life through faith in Christ.

To be honest, the former part is kinda confusing >.>. I believe I realized that there was more to life than knowing God, but to act out His will. As well, to see God is to have received patience because I have been forgiven due to His grace, and to be moved by that. How true that it is God who grants me patience, ability to forgive and to show grace to others!

The latter part speaks for itself - I think I've lost this vision in myself. Reminds me why I wanted to be a teacher in the first place, although now I'm not so sure a teacher will be able to all this. Hmm...

Skipping backwards, session IV was the session where everyone expressed their worship and gladness of God's influence in this retreat. And now, the story is still unended, and there is still brothers and sisters who is[are] still trying to go back to a positive [illegible].

I wish I knew what that last word was >.<. Alas, this last part is as clear as my handwriting.

Out in the highways and byways of life,
many are weary and sad;
Carry the sunshine where darkness is rife
making the sorrowing glad.

Refrain:
Make me a blessing,
Make me a blessing,
Out of my life
out of my life
May Jesus shine;
Make me a blessing, O savior, I pray,
I pray Thee, my Savior,
Make me a blessing to someone today.

Tell the sweet story of Christ and His love;
Tell of His pow'r to forgive;
Others will trust Him if only you prove
true ev'ry moment you

Give as 'twas given to you in your need;
Love as the Master loved you;
Be to the helpless a helper indeed;
Unto your mission be true.


Time to go back to the hopeless task of fighting entropy - hopeless without Christ that is =P.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Special Post for *cough*

blog? =/= can I have the link to your blog please?
kthxbai =P

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Proverbs 18:22

So yesterday I had this random idea of shadowing my mom and trying to do everything she does around the house. Needless to say I failed lolz.

I think I went into too much details below >.>, so feel free to skip to goto:.

Firstly, I failed to wake up in the morning =.=. I'm still stuck on exam time and seeing the sun rise and what not >.>. Already, she made breakfast (macaroni with corn and ham <3), and been hanging out with Nana (dad's mom) all morning.

So when I finally woke up, got ready and ate, we went to the laundromat to clean various bed sheets, comforters and the like. It took 2 hours, and there was no AC. I didn't mind it too much, but it made me sluggish and a bit hard to fold the stuff after >.>. My mom, however, was as active as ever. I thought the higher the temperature, the faster our enzymes catalyze =.=. Apparently not for me haha.

So we got home, and there was MORE laundry to do - all the stuff I brought home + my parents stuff. My mom proceeds to dry the stuff that didn't dry at the laundromat (which was taking forever to dry there, so we decided to dry it at home), and then separate the dark clothes from the lighter clothes. I think I was eating yogurt at this time >.>. Afterwards, I proceed to wash the first load, and then my mom did the rest lolz.

I offered to help clean the floors upstairs and downstairs, and while I was doing that my mom started cooking. How she would manage to do both if I didn't help is beyond me, but I'm sure she would've pulled off anyways.

goto:

So what I was trying to get at is that my mom does a lot of things at home. I started reflecting on this when I was packing up to leave Waterloo, and how bad I have been at maintaining a healthy livable environment. The only reason the place was livable was because one of the permanent residence cleans the house every month or so. Yesterday emphasized all the more just how many of the small things my mom does around the house.

Having a mom is a huge blessing. Having a wife must be even more, cause she has to put up with me 24/7 =P. I hope I never lose or grow indifferent to that, cause that's what I tend to do with everything.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the LORD.
~Proverbs 18:22 (NASB)

Can't wait till I'm ready to start looking.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Why did Jesus come to earth?

If We Are The Body Lyrics
Casting Crowns

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus is the way


9As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

12On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

~Matthew 9:9-13

Monday, July 27, 2009

Too Quiet

Ever been sitting there thinking about God and just wanting to bursts out in singing?

If only we could start singing and everyone around us bursts out in songs as well to praise our wonderful creator.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sabbath

17 The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. 18 And when they measured it by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed.

19 Then Moses said to them, "No one is to keep any of it until morning."

20 However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

21 Each morning everyone gathered as much as he needed, and when the sun grew hot, it melted away. 22 On the sixth day, they gathered twice as much—two omers [b] for each person—and the leaders of the community came and reported this to Moses. 23 He said to them, "This is what the LORD commanded: 'Tomorrow is to be a day of rest, a holy Sabbath to the LORD. So bake what you want to bake and boil what you want to boil. Save whatever is left and keep it until morning.' "

24 So they saved it until morning, as Moses commanded, and it did not stink or get maggots in it. 25 "Eat it today," Moses said, "because today is a Sabbath to the LORD. You will not find any of it on the ground today. 26 Six days you are to gather it, but on the seventh day, the Sabbath, there will not be any."

27 Nevertheless, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they found none. 28 Then the LORD said to Moses, "How long will you [c] refuse to keep my commands and my instructions? 29 Bear in mind that the LORD has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Everyone is to stay where he is on the seventh day; no one is to go out." 30 So the people rested on the seventh day.
~Exodus 16:17-30

Yes I was quite selective of the verses; the whole chapter/book/bible is important, so the quoted verse is technically not sufficient, but it'll do.

Before anyone starts flaming (=P), I'll have to offer another passage:

1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' " 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
~Romans 14

SoOoo, because of this passage (and the reason/meat/mmm char sui/underlying meaning[sorry couldn't find the word] behind it), I don't have much for/against Sabbath, although I personally can not work on Sunday due to the conviction of obeying the Sabbath. (dy/dx: since I am a student, any school work, job hunting and working(job) are all subsets of work)

One last thing before I get to the thoughts that got me writing this blog, ...I forgot =.=.

OH yes. Notice how each person was only to gather enough for one day's worth, which really reflects Matthew 6:34 (Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.). As well, each person was to gather enough for two days (on Friday; Jewish Sabbath is on Saturday), which means you do NOT just write off your work, but rather make it up another day.

(This is really the last thing =P) Obeying the Sabbath has giving me unrecorded blessings, especially during those times where I was really busy. When I ask myself why I don't have enough time, one of the things that come up is that I don't use my Sundays for work at all, which then reminds me of the God, "under whose wings you[I] have come to take refuge" (Ruth 2:12) and how I don't have to worry (not saying He'll bump my marks up because I have faith in Him, but that I can be at peace, not worrying about tomorrow). As well, there have been days where I get to spend time praising God via guitar (I'll leave this to another post) and just spending time with brothers and sisters (just brother this term I think [remembering all those times with Gabe <3 LOLZ {dy/dx: I'm straight} ] ).

Then there are days where I waste my Sabbath playing video games and being completely idle, which brings me to my last (promise!) point, and the reason I'm writing this post. What should I do on the Sabbath day? I have been watching sermons, playing guitar, hanging out, video games (useful for bonding time =O, although I know some people who would not agree), watching starcraft/smash vids, doing chores I have not had time to do and other things which does not come to mind right now because the parking lot across from my house suddenly exploded in car alarms =.=.

I know I want the Sabbath day, and I know I have been blessed because of doing so, during that day and during the other days of the week. Today, being quite an idle day, leads me to wonder if there is more I can do on this day. There seems to be so much more to the principle of the Sabbath.

hmmmmm....

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Thorns and Thistles

To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'
"Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it
all the days of your life.

It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.

By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return."

~Genesis 3:17-19

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Snowflakes

I wrote this in December 08, and I still can't seem to add to it, though I want to post it. So post it, I shall. And yes, I was reflecting on something else as I wrote this.


"The final shape of the crystal reflects these growth conditions. The longer the snowflake is blown about in the skies, the more complex the resulting snow crystal." (http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2001/02/41085, 2008).

The light reflected by each is so little and so insignificant, so unnoticed, but is so greatly admired when they come together to cover the earth. And they become more beautiful the closer you look. Each one is so small, yet so unique, and is beautiful despite the harsh winds that surround it. Indeed, those same winds actually refine it and make them even more beautiful. Together they reflect, and yet pales in comparison to, the sun.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Cooking

So I was staring at a boiling pot of mushrooms, woo dong/wondon/forgot official name >.> and fishballs in chicken broth, and I was like, "This is kinda fun~!"

Then I thought, "Why did God create this concept of cooking? I mean, all other animals don't cook. I'm sure God can make us compatible with raw food..."

Man God has good insight; cooking = reflection of God's beauty, creativity and grace!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wow haven't posted for a while...

click me =]
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We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitments what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your hearts been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know whats been going on
We know the game and were gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Give you up. give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, five you up

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you