A Teacher

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
~James 3:1

A while back, I was telling God how, given the curiosity of children, I'll have to be ready at any moment to give a biblically sound answer to my children (in the future). I can't imagine giving a both a biblical and fulfilling answer to a lot of old testament questions.

I've been teaching God's Word a lot lately. You know how it goes; be careful what you pray for. Just this week, I'll be preparing for three different studies. I would think God is an absolute troll if I didn't know of His love for me.

I don't think I have enough fear in me yet. Please pray for me.


PS: I enjoy how the first label blogger suggests to me is "purposely heretic". I only have one post with that tag.

Pseudo-wiki

I used to have all these in a local wiki install, but decided it's more accessible online. I won't be discussing on tumblr what I post on tumblr, but feel free to email/IM/text me if you want to discuss =].

Warning: it is very incomplete =P.

http://yunyun24.tumblr.com/

Life was easier when...

...I was doing OS. No lies.

I MISS YOU OS. OH WHY DID I EVER LEAVE THE WIFE OF MY YOUTH??
< /heresy>

Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
~2 Corinthians 1:9

Not even close. But I hope I respond the same way nevertheless.

Home

"Wait - you're on your study term? Why are you still in Waterloo?"

"Well, my parents are at work during the week, so I'm going to be sitting around doing nothing anyways. So I stayed."


Now that I'm in Mississauga, I miss Westcourt. I think it's safe to say that in my mind, Mississauga is no longer my physical home. I guess that's what happens when you only go home once a month. It'll be officially not my home in two months anyways. Happy early birthday!

It still hasn't changed as a mission field though.

http://blog.marshill.com/2011/06/19/dad-thank-you-for-building-a-gospel-legacy/

Future Father

Well, I hope to be anyways haha.

I've been sharing to various friends about how God hasn't really told me anything about what I'm to do after I'm done university, except to start a family. They always laugh -____-. It'll generally include me discussing the desire to get a job right away, start paying off debt, and saving up.

When I was sharing this on Saturday though, the Holy Spirit reminded of Elimelech in Ruth chapter 1. I was obsessed with the book of Ruth at one point, probably cause Driscoll was pretty jokes as he was teaching it.

In the time of famine, Elimelech moved away from his people and the promise land to (speculatively?) find food elsewhere. Although this is may be a physically wise decision, we see that spiritually, it was disastrous. In relation to our times, it's like leaving your spiritual home to live in a spiritually corrupt community for a physically better life for you and your family. There's this danger of focusing on the physical needs and not on the more important spiritual needs.

When I was sharing on Saturday, I realized that my focus was entirely on the physical, and nothing on the spiritual. Yes, paying off debt and saving up for my future family is important. But what about my ability to raise children? How does my faith and character match up to those of a father's? Surely I can't, and won't claim that I have been trained enough by God to do so in a God-glorifying way. Yet, I realized that I had no plans on making sure I will be by the time family comes around. Epic fail.

Idols and Identity

"It's not about behaviour modification, it's about worship alteration."
~Driscoll

So I opted out of attending Trinity night for Chinese Christian Fellowship (CCF) cause I got sick >.<. Sad, cause I really wanted to go. The apologetic side of me went "NOOOOOOOOOOOO". I decided to take a nap at around 7:30 pm instead.

I woke up at 10:00 pm, and I started half-hoping people will come over (it was about that time people got to Westcourt where I lived). As I was lying there, I thought about wanting to go back to sleep, and a spew of thoughts came rushing into my mind. How do I feel about willingly (loosely used) missing CCF for the first time? What am I feeling right now? How will I feel a year from now when CCF is no longer part of my life (barring grad school and full time in Waterloo)? What if I do stay in Waterloo longer? I can't stay in CCF forever. It'll be like going with Andy to college! (Sorry just finished Toy Story 3 =P). And all these questions dereferenced to this: is CCF an idol? Additionally, who will I become when I leave CCF? What would life be like? Would I still say I stand firm in the faith?

God has subtly asked me these question twice - first during a conversation after CCF last week, and during an interview this week. And I'm particularly sensitive to this topic at the moment because God has convicted me of where my heart has been, mainly, not with Him. And it's crystal clear to me, because my behavior has been so revealing since the beginning of term.

I'm more Calvinist than anything (flame shield powering up), so I'm not too worried about my salvation. It's still a very sobering and humbling thought to see myself constantly serving my sinful nature, and I'll never know for sure until God takes CCF away from me.

Identity is found in the God we trust
Any other identity will self destruct
~Identity - Lecrae

Thank you God for not handing me over to my sinful nature (Romans 1), and for treating me as a son (Hebrews 12). I have a feeling (ooo ooo) that You have much more planned for me before I come home. Can't say I'm terribly excited, but my life is not my own, and what You want for me is enough for me.

“I think I now see the Spirit of God grieving, when you are sitting down to read a novel and there is your Bible unread. Perhaps you take down some book of travels, and you forget that you have got a more precious book of travels in the Acts of the Apostles, and in the story of your blessed Lord and Master. You have no time for prayer, but the Spirit sees you very active about worldly things, and having many hours to spare for relaxation and amusement. And then he is grieved because he sees that you love worldly things better than you love him.” (Spurgeon)

Only one way to lose...

They thought Jesus was out of his mind
they laughed and mocked him
Called him a cult leader and they tried to stop him
Pharisees said Christ got his power from Satan
Hatin', on the very one that came to save 'em
Even after he rose, man the world ain't changed
They still rejecting the name, still look at us strange
Still tell us without shame that our faith's insane
and, "it don't take all that to be a Christian man"
And its hard when you tryin to reach your family and stuff
They say man, "you too spiritual, you doing to much"
So we show them the love of Christ and live in the light
So they can glorify our God when they look at our life
And we win for sharing the truth and hearts get changed
We win if we're rejected because of his name
We win if seeds get planted and watered and grow
But even if we lost, we still be fanatical though
~Fanatic - Lecrae

What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.
~Romans 9:14-18

Wondering where the seeds are going.

Convergence

Through forgotten convictions
Misplaced affections
I'm losing the sound of Your voice
I've been chasing after emptiness
Trying to tidy up this mess
I swear I've been down this road before
I want to get back to where it all began
When I would long for only You

Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?

I've lost sight of what first drew me
To the love that pursued me
The joy that inspired my song
The friendship that was all I knew
The arms that I would fall into
Seem miles and years from where I am today
I got to get back to where it all began
When I would wait for only You

Can I stay here forever
Here with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I'll stay
Always here with You

Can I be here forever
Here with You?
Can I know what it's like
To deeply love You?
Always, Lord, let me stay
Always, here with You

~Can I Stay Here Forever - Starfield

Same struggles, shorter duration. Thanks to God - instead of it being a divergent series, I have the hope of convergence.

P.S. Now you know how e.w. feels j.l. =P

5 Minute Prep Dinner

'Nuff said.

Inevitable

"Do you hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability.
~The Matrix

I totally should of been prepared for it. But I totally wasn't. If I realized I wasn't prepared for it, then I would of been prepared for it by admitting I'm not prepared for it, and turn to God.

How did life get so busy? What do I say no to?

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
~Luke 10:38-42

"Never put evangelism above your worship."
~e.m. (paraphrased)

"When you make an unwise decision, it not only affects you. It affects everyone around you."
~j.r. (paraphrased)

"In its simplest form, the Christian’s priority list is:
Jesus
Spouse (if applicable)
Children (if applicable)
Ministry/Vocation"
~Your Four Priorities

AIYA. Hi =].

Winter Conference [During]

I did pretty bad in terms of blogging my thoughts =P. I have a lot more thoughts than this that I want to share, but I'll post these up for now. And no, I'm not racist. I've just been in the Asian circle for too long >.<.



Tuesday, December 28 @ 12:11 PM

It’s been interesting. It feels a bit awkward, since I know less than like 5 people. It’s pretty different from the CCF environment. Maybe I’m too used to there being people who will ensure I’m doing okay? Haha guess I’m not frosh anymore =P. Or maybe cause there’s so many white people LOLZ.

I slept with a white dude last night. No lies. I was glad it was warm enough though, so that we didn’t have to lie down together to keep each other warm.

I think one thing about me is that there are not a lot of topics I’m interested in talking about outside of Christ. My standard out-of-context joking and Taylor Swift remarks are just not the most ideal topic starters. I unno – I should really take up a hobby or something that will change that. A catalyst that will lower my activation energy so that bonds are more readily formed.

Nothing big from the talks has hit me yet, but there were an interesting quote (paraphrased) – “You can either choose to live with your small plans, or to surrender to His big plans”.

I keep thinking back to fall retreat (that I didn’t go to). A big part of me that didn’t want to go to fall retreat was because I was kinda tired of doing things for my growth. Not saying growth is bad, but that I’m not really interested in sponging up things anymore. I guess in a way I’m disappointed right now, because winter conference is like another retreat. I’m hoping I’ll be more “alive” for the outreach sessions. Who knows? It’s better than sitting at home trying to find something to do.

12:38 PM



December 29, 2010 @ 6:32 PM

I might have to take some words back lolz. I really enjoyed the seminars, although I won’t go into too much detail on them. The topics were fasting, reaching out to family, and building a men’s ministry.

I dunno if it’s just me, but everyone but me seems to be enjoying the talks. I kinda wish they were more bible-study like. I guess I’m not the type that needs to get pumped up with experiences? No idea. Or maybe they don’t speak as much to me as they would to other people. Who knows?

I realized just now that I need to watch my time. No more double-dinner dates for me >.<. I guess I’m not the most experienced in having too much on my plate (maybe I should talk to some accountants haha), but I have a feeling (ooo ooo) that I’ll have to start saying no a lot more next term. Or just sleep less =P. I have enough practice with that.

White people are awesome. I should meet more =D.

More to say, but not enough time =P.

6:44 PM